Dirty Sanchez

A cartoon of some guy giving Britney Spears a Dirty Sanchez.

Hollywood Sign

My sister and I went to Hollywood yesterday and this was the only picture that I took, since I've taken a lot of pictures there before. This photo didn't actually come out this good, if you can call it that. I had to Photoshop the hell out of it to get it to where you can actually see the sign through the smog.

Photo Post - Missouri Photos

These are all photos I collected the last time I was home in Missouri.

My grandma's 4 wheeler and her farm, Leslie, Missouri:

A very angry looking bum lurking on an off ramp somewhere in Mid-Missouri:

Moi:

Missouri State Capitol building:

Missouri State Capitol building:

Missouri State Capitol building:

Missouri State Capitol building:

Missouri State Capitol building:

Missouri State Capitol building:

Missouri State Capitol building:

Missouri State Capitol building:

Missouri State Capitol building:

Missouri State Capitol building:

They're uniting to help pick up garbage:

A creek behind Michael's old apartment:

Creek:

Highway in the fall:

Rotting structure:

My grandma's lake:

My grandma's lake:

University of Missouri - Mizzou:

University of Missouri - Mizzou:

University of Missouri - Mizzou

University of Missouri - Mizzou

University of Missouri - Mizzou

Fall in Missouri:

Fall, again:

Dingy hotel, Washington, Missouri:

Ozarkland:

Rock Bridge Park, Columbia, Missouri:

Melissa and Trinity:

Me and Trinity:

James and Trinity:

Rattling Craig Clevenger's Cage

Back in October, I sent an email to Craig Clevenger when his website was probably a little less known on the Internet than it is now.

Here's what I wrote: "I've been following your site for a few weeks now after being referred by the Palahniuk site. I'm currently reading CH and I love it. I found a book I really look forward to reading. I tried to find it at the major local bookstores, with no luck. So I ordered it from Amazon."

The next day on his site, he wrote this:

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Rattling Cages 
Okay, just got off the phone with my editor, perhaps after too little sleep and cracking after yet another "I can't find your book anywhere" type of email. I've got a New York Times bestselling author shouting about the 'Handbook' on every stop of his tour, site traffic that's increasing daily along with interview requests, and still people can't find the book. Not to mention there's film buzz, a paperback that's been released so it's more affordable than the hardcover. And said paperback has a glowing endorsement from the aforementioned author which might- and I'm no marketing expert, here- persuade someone to pick it up and read a page or two. I've made the rounds here in Los Angeles, doing drop-ins at bookstores to sign stock, and I've found it at exactly two places thus far. Two. What the bloody fuck?

It's time to name names. If you've tried to find The Contortionist's Handbook and haven't had any luck, then let me know- when and where... the city, state and the name of the bookstore. You can leave a comment here or shoot me a note and I'll pass it along to MacAdam/Cage. I'm kinda pissed, here.

See y'all in NYC.

Foaming at the mouth,

-Craig


Addendum

Mr. Sandman came last night and brought the Rationality Fairy with him. In the clear light of the day with a cooler head, I realize my post could be misconstrued as being unhappy with my publisher, and perhaps even my editor. I try to reserve the word fuck for the likes of, oh, I don't know, Governor Arnold.

FADE IN

Int. Day- A hallway

We see CRAIG pacing, sucking back coffee and talking into a cell phone. The VOICE on the other end of the cell phone is his editor, PAT.

CRAIG: "Dude, sorry. I'm just, like I said, kinda pissed. Not at you, at the situation."

PAT: "I understand. Let's talk."

CRAIG: "Wait a sec. I'll remove the post."

PAT: "Don't do that."

CRAIG: "I'm serious. I'm deleting it right now."

PAT: "I'm serious too, leave it up there."

CRAIG: "I'm outta line with that. Let me tone it down, at least."

PAT: "Don't do anything. I'm not going to censor you. Leave it the way it is. You're a writer, say what you want. Now let's solve this thing."

FADE OUT

How cool is that? So, it's staying, What the bloody fuck? and everthing else. But for the record, I'm pissed at the gaping holes on the 'new release' tables and the 'cl' section of fiction/literature. Again, if you've been frustrated finding the Handbook, in the U.S., the U.K., Canada or anywhere else, let me know.

Several cool interviews forthcoming... will keep y'all posted. And Chris Baer will soon be alive on the web for surfing pleasure.

~c

posted at 10:21 PM

I wrote him back after that, explaining which stores specifically I looked at, and sure enough, a couple months later I found some copies in one of those stores. I just thought that was another cool "Internet brush with a writer" story.

Whyd'ya switch?

Now that I've finally tweaked this bastard blog to where I want it, I find it's much, much easier to keep up with it through Blogger. It's pretty self-automated, so I just go in, type some stuff, and it's automatically put up on the blog. There's no worrying about the messy job of manually archiving and manually trying to link all the update pages together, on every page of the updates. It just got to be a hassle. So I've got this one about right where I want it. Although, I tried to add a background to the blog and it erased my whole template on Blogger, so I had to go back again and redo all the code, which only took a little while since I got most of it down yesterday. I think it looks good now.